Today I challenged myself and had a day just by myself. At some point I have to face the fear of being alone for a moment. Especially now that my mind is easily unsettled. And actually I think I did a good job, somehow at least. I did sleep until like midday, and it took me time and courage to get up from bed to a day without any plans.
After I got up I ate and found myself watching The Oscars 2014. One thing that stood out, (not 'Let it go' this time) was one of the 'victory speeches'. The most handsome and talented Matthew McConaughey told that somebody once asked him who's his hero. He answered 'me in 10 years'.
That thought just stopped me. I have always admired, looked up or envied at someone 'better' than me. But if I would start looking up at myself in 10 years, how would that be? Every day, every week, every month, and every year of my life, my hero would be always ten years away. I would never ever be that hero. I will never be able to attain that goal and that’s just fine with me, because that will keep me with somebody to keep on chasing. And then I won't lose myself by trying to be someone i think is better.
Well so the day continued with some pesto-pasta and nail art. In the evening I went to dance rehearsals. Dance for me is the best way to 'mop up' my mind from all the germs of the moment.
And after getting my head sanitized I got home all refreshed and super proud of myself for living a day by myself with strength and dignity, and without insane emotional breakdowns.
So it was a fabulously good day, and I think I found a new hero to look up to.
Who is your hero?